The thing about grief is that it comes on hard and unrelenting in the first few months, or even the first year. After that, you learn to live with it, to work with it, to manage it, but you never know when it will come out of nowhere and flatten you.
Bonnie Trash do a deep dive into grief, and looming spectre of death, on their new full-length album, Mourning You. Opening, after an instrumental intro to set the creepy mood, with “Veil of Greed,” lead singer Sarafina Bortolon-Vettor admits that she’s helpless before such a powerful force (“I bow down before you, and I know you feed.”) while twin sister Emmalia knocks out industrial-meets-doom riffs.
“My Love Remains the Same (Kisses Goodbye)” is beautiful. It could be a Psychedelic Furs track in another dimension somewhere. Emma Howarth-Withers‘ bass line locks in the whole track while Sarafina says final goodbyes to a loved one…or at least tries to do so (“My love remains the same, and I won’t let you go.’). The song is surprisingly upbeat and primed for radio play by somewhat subversive DJs looking to sneak a great goth track past their programming directors.
“I wish it was different, but I see you in my dreams every night,” Serafina sings, tricking you into first thinking “Hellmouth,” despite its title, is going to be a love song…and it is, but it’s a song about how the amount you loved someone will equal the amount of grief you will experience after they’re gone. Trust me on this.
Dana Bellamy‘s hammering drums on “Haunt Me (What Have You Become)” almost knock your teeth down your throat at first, but then turn into a stressed heartbeat. It’s a song that belongs on the soundtrack for The Babadook (one of the best movies about grief I’ve seen). “and in the end, I’ll wait for you” reveals the band’s love of Joy Division. I mean, listening to Howarth-Withers’ bass and tell me she’s not a fan of Peter Hook. “I will like awake, living through my life,” Serafina sings, evoking images of her “Longing for all the times we shared…” as she wonders how she can go on alone.
“Poison Kiss” is sure to be on many goth mixtapes (“Your poison kiss is a special kind of hell.”) in the future. “Please don’t leave me rotting in the ground. Please don’t leave me when you’re dead and gone. I wish I knew you better,” Serafina laments on “Your Love Is My Revenge.” “When will I see you again?” she wonders. We all wonder that after a loss. She struggles with acceptance, regret, and the loss of not only a loved one, but also of a sense of purpose and time. Emmalia sounds like she’s taking a belt sander to her guitar at some points, while Bellamy opts for simple but massive drum fills. The combination works quite well.
The album ends with the creepy, somewhat hypnotic “it eats shadows.” It’s over seven minutes of guitar drone while Serafina’s spoken word lyrics loop over and over to make the hair on the back of your neck rise.
Bonnie Trash have used heavy guitars, drums, and lyrics to sum up the massive weight of grief. It can feel like a hydraulic press crushing you, first in one sudden blow, and then slowly squeezing the life out of you. Bonnie Trash know that a crucial step to living afterwards is to express your rage. You have to release it, and this album will help.
Keep your mind open.
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[Thanks to Kate at Stereo Sanctity.]
